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| Film director, Lewis Milestone. |
Daily stats, for your perusal (but mostly for me). Anyway, enjoy! :)
PRIOR NIGHT’S SLEEP: Approximately 9 hours.
MORNING SUGAR: 119
BOWEL MOVEMENT (s): 1 this morning, following my morning constitutional (see deets below) and then, later in the morning -- a pint-sized adt'l poo.
BREAKFAST: 2 cups of coffee, with half-n-half and a total of 4 Splendas. 1 1/2 pieces of buttered toast, with a slice of Colby Jack cheese on top. Later in the morning, a cup of oatmeal with milk, Splenda and cinnamon.
LUNCH: Turkey sandwich, with Colby Jack cheese and a handful of chips.
DINNER: 1 toasted onion bagel, with chicken salad (shredded chicken, Miracle Whip Light, chopped onion and shredded Colby Jack cheese). I followed it up with a cup and a half of coffee (aren't I fancy?)
SNACKS: I feel like I was eating little things all day, as my sugar again felt on the verge of "low" all day. 1 Nutri-grain breakfast bar while waiting to see my psychiatrist. 1 Nutri-grain breakfast bar DURING my free weights workout this morning. 1 diet root beer. Also, at some point in the day (with a low sugar), several sugar wafer cookies.
EXERCISE: Full body stretch. Free weights. 400 ab crunches / sit-ups. My morning constitutional -- or as I think I'll now call them, "my morning fog walks", referencing Ned Flanders of The Simpsons.
TOTAL NO. OF STEPS: 9645
WRITING: This blog. Over 2k words on my novel, "Island Hunters". Thrilled to make my 30k word goal on this piece -- which was actually my goal for ALL of 2020. So, score! Sadly, nothing else got attention today.
THERAPY HOMEWORK: Morning constitutional. Usual route to Gardner and back. Of note, however -- for the first time on these walks, I had my usual coffee BEFORE I walked out the door. While there were definite rumblings of my ever-gurgly bowels, it was never super-urgent -- more of a "I could go right now, but I'm not gonna mess my pants if I don't." As I expressed to my psychiatrist at my appointment today, my new motto is, "I control my bowels. My bowels don't control me." Simple, but hopefully effective.
And I'd also point out that upon my arrival home from my morning constitutional, I had my morning BM. But I could tell it wasn't complete, thus giving me those little extra bits of anxiety that whatever remained, would come back with a vengeance at a most inopportune time. Of course, as mentioned above -- a minute adt'l BM happened later in the morning.
My concern (which I brought up to my psychiatrist) was that if I "hold it", would that then make it more difficult to fully evacuate (isn't that the term) later?
Finally, one bit of homework from my last session, was to not have my Miralax (today, the day of my appointment) in the morning (as is the norm), but to save it for when I was about ready to leave for my appointment. I did -- having it at lunch time, and then drove to the session. There was a bit of anxiety around "what could happen", but nothing actually did. Success!
Oh, and I found it interesting, that as I walked back home from my morning walk -- I said in my head, "This is a milestone of sorts" referencing the fact that I did my walk prior to having my morning BM and after having my morning coffee. Just as this thought and that term "milestone" crossed my mind, I passed over a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, for a film director named Lewis Milestone. Weird, right?
SOCIAL OUTINGS: An hour with my psychiatrist.
MEDITATIVE WRITING: 1 hour of meditative writing, resulting in over 2000 words written on my novel, "Island Hunters".
READING: Since finishing "Dreams in the Witch House" in my Lovecraft collection -- several days ago, I've not been on top of getting in to the next tale. Will I tonight? *shrugs shoulders*
HOUSEHOLD CHORES / PROJECTS: Nothing.
OTHER / MISC.: Had my first therapy session with my psychiatrist, since beginning this blog. Both of us seemed pleased with my homework completion and my progress in general. A new set of homework to complete over the next week. Stay tuned.
DID I MAKE THE BED? Yes.
DID I POOP MY PANTS? Nope. Another day. Another successful day of not shitting my pants. Neat.
I had some legit anxiety on the drive to the VA for my therapy appointment (yes, I do see the irony). Traffic was kinda heavy and per today's therapy homework, I was waiting for the poo shoe to drop. It didn't. Following therapy, the drive home was mostly anxiety-free.
There was also the fact that the "unfortunate incident" I've thus far mentioned, but not described -- was brought up in my thoughts by the music mix we have in our car. One particular artist is something of a trigger, and we've yet to remove said artist from the drive. When said artist appears, we simply skip past. However, on the 1/2 hour drive to my appointment, I had to skip said artist TEN TIMES. What is the universe telling me, other than "remove this artist from your mix"?
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